Ah, the eternal pursuit of happiness—an endeavor as futile as trying to catch a ray of sunlight in a British summer. But fear not, my fellow sufferers, for I bring you a guide to achieving a modicum of contentment in this dreary existence we call life. So, grab your brolly and brace yourself for these 25 things you should stop doing if you have even a fleeting desire to lead a marginally less miserable life.
1. Stop Pretending Everything’s Fine
Because let’s face it, nothing is fine. Life is an unending parade of disappointments and letdowns, so why bother putting on a brave face? Embrace the despair, my friend—it’s the only sensible response to the ceaseless absurdity of existence.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Oh, look at them with their perfect lives and their Instagram-worthy vacations. Newsflash: it’s all a facade. Behind those smiling selfies lies the same existential dread that haunts us all. So, spare yourself the agony of comparison and revel in your own inadequacy—it’s the British way.
3. Stop Chasing Happiness
Happiness is a fleeting illusion, a cruel trick played by the universe to keep us all in line. Instead of chasing after this elusive state of bliss, embrace the comforting embrace of despair and accept that life is nothing but a series of disappointments punctuated by the occasional glimmer of fleeting joy.
4. Stop Trying to Please Everyone
Spoiler alert: you can’t please everyone. So, stop wasting your precious time and energy trying to win the approval of others. Embrace your inner misanthrope and revel in the freedom that comes with not giving a damn about what anyone else thinks.
5. Stop Setting Unrealistic Expectations
Life is a never-ending parade of mediocrity, so why bother setting yourself up for disappointment with lofty aspirations and unrealistic goals? Embrace the soul-crushing reality of your existence and lower your expectations accordingly—it’s the only sensible course of action.
6. Stop Avoiding Failure
Failure is inevitable, so you might as well embrace it with open arms. Embrace your incompetence, revel in your shortcomings, and wear your failures like a badge of honour. After all, it’s the only thing you’re truly good at.
7. Stop Dwelling on the Past
The past is a cesspool of regret and missed opportunities, so why waste your time dwelling on it? Instead of wallowing in nostalgia and self-pity, embrace the crushing weight of your existential despair and focus on the unrelenting bleakness of the present.
8. Stop Seeking Validation from Others
Validation is a hollow pursuit that leads only to disappointment and disillusionment. Instead of seeking approval from others, find solace in your own misery and revel in the knowledge that no one else’s opinion matters—not even your own.
9. Stop Ignoring Your Mental Health
Because let’s be honest, we’re all a little bit broken inside. So, stop pretending that everything’s fine and seek help for your crippling existential dread and soul-crushing despair. Embrace the darkness within and let it consume you—it’s the only path to true enlightenment.
10. Stop Believing in Fairy Tales
Fairy tales are nothing but cruel lies designed to give us false hope in a world devoid of meaning or purpose. So, stop clinging to childish fantasies of happily ever after and embrace the grim reality of your existence—it’s the only rational response to the absurdity of life.
11. Stop Being a People Pleaser
People are awful, so why bother bending over backwards to please them? Instead of wasting your time and energy on the ungrateful masses, focus on your own misery and embrace the liberating power of selfishness—it’s the only way to survive in this cruel world.
12. Stop Suppressing Your Emotions
Life is a never-ending parade of pain and suffering, so why bother pretending that everything’s fine? Instead of suppressing your emotions, embrace the darkness within and let your despair wash over you like a tidal wave of misery—it’s the only way to truly experience the full spectrum of human suffering.
13. Stop Making Excuses
Excuses are the crutch of the weak and the feeble-minded. Instead of blaming others for your own shortcomings, take responsibility for your failures and embrace the soul-crushing weight of your own incompetence—it’s the only way to grow as a person.
14. Stop Seeking Perfection
Perfection is an illusion, a cruel trick played by the universe to keep us all in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction. Instead of chasing after this unattainable ideal, embrace your flaws and imperfections and revel in the knowledge that you are irredeemably flawed—it’s the only sensible response to the absurdity of life.
15. Stop Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations are inevitable, so why put them off? Instead of avoiding confrontation, embrace the discomfort and tackle those awkward discussions head-on—it’s the only way to resolve issues and move forward.
16. Stop Hoarding Teabags
Yes, I know, a well-stocked tea cupboard is a thing of beauty. But do you really need 20 different varieties of Earl Grey? Embrace the simplicity of a single, reliable brew and let go of your tea-hoarding tendencies.
17. Stop Pretending to Like Marmite
It’s time to come clean: Marmite is vile, and you know it. So, stop forcing yourself to choke down that revolting yeast extract and embrace the freedom of hating it openly and unashamedly.
18. Stop Avoiding Eye Contact on Public Transport
Yes, your fellow commuters are a peculiar breed, but that’s no excuse for burying your nose in your Kindle and avoiding all human interaction. Embrace the awkwardness of eye contact and revel in the discomfort—it’s a quintessentially British experience.
19. Stop Pretending to Enjoy Small Talk
We both know you’d rather gouge out your own eyes than engage in mindless chit-chat about the weather. So, stop pretending and embrace the sweet relief of awkward silence—it’s a blessed escape from the banality of polite conversation.
20. Stop Trying to Pronounce Worcestershire Correctly
Let’s be honest, nobody knows how to say it, and nobody cares. So, stop torturing yourself and embrace your own unique interpretation of this bafflingly named condiment.
21. Stop Endlessly Queueing
Yes, queuing is a time-honored British tradition, but there’s no need to take it to extremes. Embrace the joy of cutting in line—after all, life’s too short to spend it waiting for a bus that never comes.
22. Stop Forgetting Your Umbrella
Yes, it’s raining. Yes, you forgot your umbrella. Again. But fear not, for soggy shoes are a small price to pay for the freedom of never having to lug around that cumbersome contraption again.
23. Stop Trying to Understand the British Rail Timetable
It’s a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma—and you’re never going to crack it. So, stop torturing yourself and embrace the chaos of never knowing if your train will arrive on time or at all.
24. Stop Pretending to Enjoy the Taste of Warm Beer
Let’s be honest, warm beer is an abomination. So, stop pretending it’s a cultural quirk and embrace the refreshing taste of an ice-cold lager—it’s the civilized thing to do.
25. Stop Saying “Sorry” When Someone Bumps into You
You’re not the one who should be apologizing—it’s the clumsy oaf who crashed into you. So, stop shouldering the blame for their incompetence and embrace the righteous indignation of a well-deserved glare—it’s empowering, trust me.
Embrace the Misery, Embrace Life
So there you have it—25 habits to kick to the curb if you fancy a shot at a slightly less miserable existence. Embrace the misery, my fellow Brits, for in the darkness lies the true essence of life. Now, let’s raise a tepid cuppa to another day of dismal mediocrity. Cheers!
The post Keys to Happiness: 25 Things to Remove from Your Life ASAP first appeared on All Things Buzz.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Bogdan Sonjachnyj.
For transparency, this content was partly developed with AI assistance and carefully curated by an experienced editor to be informative and ensure accuracy.