From the Costa del Sol to the beaches of Thailand, Brits abroad are like red buses in New York: wonderfully out of place yet an essential part of the landscape. Here’s how you can spot a fellow Brit, blending in with all the subtlety of a brass band in a library.
1. The Optimistic Sunburn
That hopeful application of SPF 15 on the first day, followed by a week spent resembling a lobster? Classic British optimism.
2. Tea Desperation
Watching a Brit ask for tea abroad is like witnessing a fish trying to ride a bicycle. “You do have PG Tips, right?”
3. Sorry Reflex
Bumping into sun loungers and apologising to them as if they’ve caused great offence? That’s the Brit abroad, politeness ingrained.
4. Queueing Solo
That one person trying to form an orderly queue at the hotel buffet? Yep, British through and through, even in the face of continental chaos.
5. Full English Quest
Their eternal search for a full English in the midst of foreign cuisine. “But does it come with black pudding?”
6. Weather Obsession
Two Brits meet and, within seconds, are comparing the weather here to back home. “Bit hotter than Skegness, innit?”
7. Pub Gravitation
They have an unerring ability to sniff out the nearest establishment claiming to be a ‘British pub’, regardless of global coordinates.
8. Football Allegiance
The wearing of a football shirt is not just on match day but also as a holiday uniform. “You never know when you might meet a fellow Red.”
9. Socks and Sandals
Only a Brit would consider socks and sandals appropriate attire for exploring ancient ruins or local markets.
10. Sunscreen Application
Armed with factor 50 yet somehow always missing that one spot. “Thought I’d caught all the bits.”
11. Tea Bag Hoard
Their suitcase has a secret compartment for tea bags because you never know when you’ll face a tea emergency.
12. Bargaining with Courtesy
Attempting to haggle but ending up paying more out of sheer embarrassment. “Oh, that’s still too much? No bother, I’ll take it.”
13. Pub Quiz Commitment
A holiday isn’t complete without finding a pub quiz and then arguing about the answers. “I’m telling you, Henry VIII had six wives.”
14. Gratitude Overload
Thanking machines, waiters, and even the sea for its refreshing qualities. Manners maketh the Brit abroad.
15. The Chip Comparison
On a mission to find chips that rival those from back home, a quest often ends in disappointment. “Just not the same, are they?”
16. Cheers for Everything
“Cheers” becomes a Swiss Army knife of expressions, fitting every social interaction imaginable.
17. Complaining as Sport
Moaning about the heat, the food, and the local driving, but all in the spirit of good-natured banter. “It’s all part of the experience!”
18. Milk in Crisis
The shock and horror when faced with the prospect of black tea. “Do you not have semi-skimmed?”
19. Curry Night Abroad
Evaluating every destination by its ability to serve a decent curry. “It’s just not spicy enough, is it?”
20. Souvenir Fashion Faux Pas
That hat was definitely a mistake, purchased in a moment of sunstroke-induced madness. “It looked good at the time.”
21. Sarcasm Abroad
Their humour becomes even more cryptic overseas, leaving locals puzzled. “Just having a laugh, aren’t we?”
22. Passport Panic
The periodic pat-down dance to check their passport’s presence, a ritual performed with religious fervour. “Better safe than sorry.”
Only in Britain
Spotting a Brit abroad is like finding a needle in a haystack that’s actually waving at you. Despite the sunburn and the tea cravings, it’s these quirks that make travelling all the more memorable. Here’s to the Brits, making the world a more interesting place, one polite apology at a time.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / NDAB Creativity.
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